After reading that article about Hunter Moore and then this morning seeing a video from a woman who runs a STEM vlog on YouTube and over the last few years reading/listening to hundreds of articles, vlogs, blogs, and comments about the harassment women receive for writing professionally, blogging, vlogging, gaming, attending professional conferences, attending non-professional conferences, walking down the street, or just existing and therefore making a great target for complete strangers by virtue of being a woman…it just seems so overwhelming. I mean, women do pretty much anything, and they run the risk of dudes harassing them endlessly, stalking them, threatening them, doxing them, causing them to lose their jobs, breaking into their property and stealing from them, and actually physically harming them, even killing them.
I’ve seen a ton of response posts/comments from people (mostly, but not entirely, men) saying basically, “If you don’t like these comments, then why do you write professionally/blog/vlog/game/attend public events/go out in public at all? If you just stayed home, never accessed the internet, never do anything with your life where you might come into contact with men, and just ceased to exist entirely, you wouldn’t have to worry about this! Or toughen up! Sure, it can put you and your family (if you have one) physically and financially at risk, but dudes are entitled to ruin your life because you are a lady, so just deal with it.”
I’ve been blogging for many years, and I don’t have comments on my blog or allow anonymous asks/submissions because in the brief periods of time when I did, I received so much harassment and awfulness, it was completely overwhelming. I don’t even get that much traffic. I’ve been doxed before because I defended a friend here on tumblr. For over 2 years, one of the top things when you googled my name was an uncensored community post where I was doxed (fortunately, mostly inaccurately) and horrible things were written about me. And I know as a white, cis, straight woman, I get way less of this than many other women, because there’s less things about me that offends them.
It’s baffling that people defend this kind of harassment. It’s completely confounding that some people’s actual expectation is that women will cower in a dark corner somewhere, hide, and never make their existence known to avoid some man harassing, stalking, threatening and/or hurting them, because it’s more important that a man’s right to harass/stalk/threaten/hurt a woman be protected than it is that a woman has the right to exist. And these people will defend a person who is stalking, harassing, threatening and hurting another person before they defend the victim, because in their opinion, some non-humans—in this case women—deserve it. They do not have sufficient value as human beings to merit the basic respect of just being left alone.
But god forbid you have something to say about someone who actively goes out of their way to torment strangers. The harasser has value, because he has a penis. Or he’s white. Or he’s straight. He gets to determine who is worthy of being allowed to live without fear or pain, and if you think you can turn the tables on him, there are armies of men out there like him to put your in your place.
That’s what this all comes down to, isn’t it? To serve as a reminder about how really has the power and control?
As I’m engaged to someone who is very outspoken on the internet, you would not fucking believe (or maybe you would) the amount of fucking harassment she gets. A good deal of it doesn’t even end up on tumblr and what does is the tip of the iceberg.
Every manner of threat you can imagine, I am continually amazed at the time and energy assholes have put into harassing her, it is absolutely fucking ridiculous, and a HUGE problem.
And op is right. At the end of the day, it all comes down to maintaining a power structure, and these assholes will fight tooth and nail to maintain that structure.