This is news to me. I was not aware that this was the case, but I won’t make that mistake again.
Nonetheless, I disagree with the premise: you lead by example. I think this is quintessential tenet to not only leadership but humanism as a whole.
Good luck with your staggering lack of poise and self control. Maybe I’m wrong… maybe beating the shit out of people works. I wouldn’t know myself and I’ve never seen evidence to prove this to be a viable option.
Look, all I’m saying is that I can not say that violence is NEVER the answer.
I have been in plenty of situations when I was growing up where it was really the only way to go. It happens.
And as far as my “Staggering lack of self control” - you don’t know me, do you?
I was married to a nightmare of an abusive woman for 13 years and never once laid a hand on her in violence. EVEN WHEN SHE PUNCHED ME IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.
As a matter of fact, as an adult, I’ve punched exactly ONE person in the face, and it was my brother because he wouldn’t stop talking to our mom like she was dirt after I told him a good four times to stop.
You can knock it off with the “Staggering lack of self control” bullshit.
You don’t know me either! I’m really sorry you had to go through that. Know that I’ve definitely gotten myself in my share of precarious situations (my father is not a good person).
Look, I’m not going to continue this back-and-forth — not because I’m a bigger person — but because we’re really not adding anything meaningful to the discussion. I think when you get to “you don’t know me” it’s really a dead cause. At this point the discussion is on a trajectory to shameless name-calling.
Here’s what I was trying to say:
- The lack of privilege in it of itself does not justify violence.
- When I say violence I’m excluding self-defense; I should have clarified that early on. (Think Treyvon Martin and CeCe McDonald).
- When it’s a matter of semantics, misunderstanding, or ignorance I think violence is unjustified.
- I disagree with the premise that violence is never the answer is inherently privileged.
- Retaliation for honest mistakes (or blatant ignorance) veiled under a lack of privilege is deleterious to the cause.
Feel free to disagree with me.
The “you don’t know me” was in reply to you mentioning my “lack of self control”.
You took the conversation from me saying that you can’t say violence is NEVER the answer to basically implying that I think that it’s okay to go around punching out everyone who pisses me off. Do not deny it. You said, and this is directly copied from your post:
Good luck with your staggering lack of poise and self control. Maybe I’m wrong… maybe beating the shit out of people works.
Don’t back peddle, that was never what I was implying.
You also said:
I wouldn’t know myself and I’ve never seen evidence to prove this to be a viable option.
You can take yourself down off the cross and knock it off right now. You are trying to paint yourself like a saint and me as someone who advocates “going around beating the shit out of people”. You KNOW that’s not what I meant and it’s evident in your statements above about self defense.
And yes, nonviolence can come from a position of privilege, another tumblr user put it beautifully when they said:
What these people don’t realize you’re saying is that it isn’t just cis hetero white dudes that say “violence isn’t the answer”… just that it’s easy to say it when you’re probably not going to experience violence and if you do the police will believe you and the attacker will be prosecuted and people will feel sorry for you (even if you deserved it).
It’s not easy to say it when, for example, I know if I am raped that many people will not believe me and more people willl blame me and I will be shamed and my rapist probably won’t be prosecuted and people will feel really sorry that his life was ruined by me.
That makes me less likely to say “violence isn’t the answer” and more likely to, for example, punch a guy in the nose.
The group most often ‘avenged’ for violence committed against them is cis hetero white dudes, so it’s easy for them to say violence isn’t the answer. They’re not the ones who are afraid all the time.
Which was EXACTLY my point about it coming from a privileged position all along.